In today’s post, I am sharing another infertility update. Many of you have been asking for an infertility update, and honestly there isn’t much to share, but here goes…
First of all, thank you. Thank you for caring, for checking in, for the prayers, and for the words of encouragement. I say this a lot, but it really does mean more than you know.
If you are new here, you can read my first post about our infertility here and the second one here.
November 2019 Infertility Update
So our first and second IUI both failed. We knew going in that overall, the IUI treatment plan as a whole has a good success rate, but for each individual IUI, it is only about a 20% success rate. That is, unless you fall into the unexplained infertility category (like us) in which case it is lower. But honestly, we have felt both times like this was the answer for us. It hasn’t been yet, but while we gear up for the 3rd round, we are going to continue to trust that this is our answer.
Earlier this month I had the HSG test (not fun btw) and it didn’t show any abnormalities or concerns. With every test, as much as I have wanted everything to check out as normal, at the same time I almost wanted them to find something. At least then we would know what was wrong and put a plan in place to fix it. The unexplained aspect of this has truly thrown me for such a loop. Not being able to fix things, not understanding why my body can’t do what it is supposed to do, and being in a constant state of limbo is so frustrating.
Our lives have pretty much been on hold the last few months. I have been taking hormones which has made me gain weight, but I have been nervous to start back up at the gym just in case. We have had travel opportunities, but I’ve not committed to them because of all of the appointments, and just in case. We have been talking about the financial aspect of IVF just in case. And honestly, living in this limbo is starting to take its toll. Especially during the holidays.
In my first post about our infertility, I shared how we had envisioned Christmas card announcements that never happened. And here we are again, almost a year and a half later, in what feels like the exact same place. It’s hard. It’s heavy. And it’s frustrating.
NEXT STEPS
Our doctor has been encouraging us to set a limit on the number of rounds of IUIs that we want to do. He said it makes it easier to move forward when you have a plan in place. We know we are going to at least do 4, but are struggling with the decision of stopping there or doing a total of 6 before moving on to IVF. At my appointment today (baseline blood work and ultrasound for the next IUI), they suggested that we go ahead and schedule an appointment to sit down with our doctor and discuss everything about IVF. While we are not there yet, they want us to have all of the information and the time to digest it before we do reach that place. While I know this is a good idea, it’s also scary.
I know I shouldn’t feel scared, but I do. I don’t want to go through IVF. But then again, who does? We are just taking things one month at a time and trying to not to worry about these things that we can’t control. But again, it’s hard.
As Thanksgiving draws closer, I am constantly reminded of all the things I have to be thankful for. I have been blessed with so much more than I deserve, and I know that. Often times, when we are focused on the things we don’t have or the things we are going through, it can be easy to forget how much we do have. So I’m going to continue to focus on those things, and to keep on keeping on. For now, our plan is to continue with the IUIs, but I promise that I’ll share more if/when something changes.
On a happier note, I hope you all have a warm & joyful Thanksgiving surrounded by the people you love most.
And if you get a chance, stop and count your blessings.
I’ll be counting each of you twice.
